"Whoever loves, let him flourish. Let him perish who knows not love. Let him perish twice over whoever forbids love."
"We two dear men, friends forever, were here. If you want to know our names, they are Gaius and Aulus."
"Love dictates to me as I write and Cupid shows me the way, but may I die if god should wish me to go on without you"
"Theophilus, don’t perform oral sex on girls against the city wall like a dog"
"Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men’s behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!"
"Floronius, privileged soldier of the 7th legion, was here. The women did not know of his presence. Only six women came to know, too few for such a stallion.”
"Let everyone one in love come and see. I want to break Venus’ ribs with clubs and cripple the goddess’ loins. If she can strike through my soft chest, then why can’t I smash her head with a club?"
"Chie, I hope your hemorrhoids rub together so much that they hurt worse than when they every have before!"
"Take hold of your servant girl whenever you want to; it’s your right."
The Surprisingly Candid:
"On April 19th, I made bread.”
"The man I am having dinner with is a barbarian."
"Epaphra is not good at ball games."
"We have wet the bed, host. I confess we have done wrong. If you want to know why, there was no chamber pot"
"Defecator, may everything turn out okay so that you can leave this place."
”The one who buggers a fire burns his penis.”
”O walls, you have held up so much tedious graffiti that I am amazed that you have not already collapsed in ruin.”
And now, a giant flying penis-with-a-penis amulet.