“I did watch Lost. I watched Lost in it’s entire run and I was, I was fascinated, but you know, even as early as the second season and certainly the third season, I started saying, how the hell are they going to pull all of this together? If they pull all of this together, it’s going to be the greatest show in the history of television, man. They better know how to pull all of this together. And then when I reached the end and they hadn’t pulled it altogether, in fact, they left a big turd on my doorstep? I was pretty upset, you know.”—George R.R. Martin (via maxistentialist)
I will learn where people buy toilet paper and stop stealing packs from my parents’ house.
I will stop actively rooting for the funniest candidates to win the Republican nomination.
I will not make fun of people who pronounce foreign words correctly.
I will not get frustrated when my parents put their iPhones in unnecessary protective cases.
I will make things that don’t include any fart jokes.
I will not spend my entire shower acting out imaginary arguments.
I will not buy any new gadgets to help me shave, make coffee, or drink whiskey. I can do these things already.
I will be on time to things even if I have to wake up early.
I will use public transportation more often, even though I’m embarrassed that I don’t know how the bus works, and have no idea how to pay other than emptying my pockets in front of the bus driver and saying, “I have this many.”
Since 1969, Daniel Dennett has turned philosophers’ names into usable words in the Philosophical Lexicon. Some of my favorites:
buber, v. To struggle in a morass of one’s own making. “After I defined the self as a relation that relates to itself relatingly, I bubered around for three pages.” Hence buber, n. one who bubers. “When my mistake was pointed out to me, I felt like a complete buber.”
derrida, n. A sequence of signs that fails to signify anything beyond itself. From a old French nonsense refrain: “Hey nonny derrida, nonny nonny derrida falala.”
frege, n. (only in the idiom, to beg the frege) To acknowledge the inconsistency of one’s position but maintain it anyway.
heidegger, n. A ponderous device for boring through thick layers of substance. “It’s buried so deep we’ll have to use a heidegger.” Also useful for burying one’s own past.
hume, pron. Indefinite personal and relative pronoun, presupposing no referent. Useful esp. in writing solipsistic treatises, sc. “to hume it may concern.”
immanuel, n. (from im-, not, + manual, guide or rulebook) A set of instructions for doing something that kant (q.v.) be done.
kripke, adj. Not understood, but considered brilliant. “I hate to admit it, but I found his remarks quite kripke.”
marcuse, v. To criticize vehemently from a Marxist perspective. “Je marcuse!”
wittgenstein, v. To enumerate. “Don’t bother to wittgenstein all these pages; the fax machine will do it automatically.”
“The last known gay Jewish survivor of the Holocaust, Gad Beck, passed away yesterday in his retirement home in Berlin, just six days short of his 89th birthday. Beck’s long life, chronicled in the documentary film The Life of Gad Beck as well as in his own autobiography, An Underground Life: Memoirs of a Gay Jew in Nazi Berlin, was one of tireless devotion to equality and justice.”
I have “An Underground Life”; he was a crazy rascal! Sex and bravery at every turn. Someone who would have been an honor to meet.